so.. i need to start updating this for a. i have a terrible memory, and b. my kids mean the world to me but i don't like 'bragging' to people about their awesomeness. i now see the value of doing baby books .. but i have a terrible history of losing things.. haneyah's pics in my laptop that got wiped, hafsah's sweet cooing recorded in my phone.. also lost forever. and i already mentioned the sieve that is my memory. it is really depressing to think about. here's to hoping the internet doesn't get lost. =)
first, can i say qasim is beyond a handful. he cut his foot and got 8 stitches days before he turned one.. since then he's broken many a glass things, gotten bruises, had spills, and eaten stuff he has no business eating and managed to get me to do what i've never done before... exercise. ;) love him to pieces mA.. may Allah s.w.t make him successful in deen and dunya. ameen. also, may he remember what a brat (albeit a handsome one) he was so that he can pay us back with extra love as we get older. ;)
hafsah.. is a doll. so clever and fun, caring and gregarious. it's time to decide where to put her in school, and homeschooling is an option. it has turned into a super difficult decision, though haneyah's public school transition was a lot tougher. i think we're going to compromise and do half day islamic school and try the rest at home. i just need a little help with qasim so i can give hafsah a little more attention. but she's doing well.. learned 5 surahs and is nearly ready to read. when i tell her stories (which she is alllways begging for) i love the additions she makes, and the emotional investment she has in the well-being of all involved.
haneyah. haneyah because of public school (though people tell me islamic school is no different) has been asking some tough questions. so this past weekend, after much research and consternation, i decided to have the talk with her. i remembered that i had asked similar questions at that age and my mom told me the truth, easily digestible, non-graphic, truth. so.. she was laying down next to her sister watching tom and jerry (hafsah's obsession) on the phone.. i asked her to come lay down next to me .. and as i stroked her hair.. we started to talk. she had gotten a bike that day (her baba had taken the time to look at many places and many types).. and she was over the moon that she was able to ride it on her own the very first time she got on.. (yes i am horrible for not switching from training wheels much sooner).. anyway.. so although she got an awesome bike (not from wal mart).. she mentioned that she wished she had a different color. well from that i talked to her about how we have to be grateful for the things we have. we have that type of talk often, because i don't believe that you have to deprive your kids to teach humility. so anyway, she understood that, and said 'i know' i love this bike and i really had a wonderful day, thanks to baba and you. so as we were resting comfortably in the dark.. i figured this was the best time for me to work up the nerve and begin. i started with talking about desires. Allah s.w.t wants us to have control over ourselves, and to be patient. we can't eat everything we want, we can't buy everything we want, we can't say whatever we want, we can't act however we feel like. in fact, Allah s.w.t loves those that control what they say and how they behave. you know it's natural to want things, like wanting to eat tons of candy, sometimes we have the feeling of wanting to be close to people. but when it comes to boys, we don't believe in holding hands, touching, etc until after the wedding. Allah wants us to control that desire and focus on more important things. if you ever feel like that i want you to always be able to talk to me (btw, she tells me things all the time, i love that she's an open book and i hope it stays that way and that i can continue to earn her trust). so i said remember when you asked me about the f word, the middle finger, and sex. i'm sorry i didn't respond right away.. it's not that i didn't want to tell you about it, i will always answer your questions, it was just i was busy at the time and anyway, now i'm ready. so then i asked her what she thought sex meant.. and she said, looking pretty and wearing tight clothes. and i said, well, that is what sexy means, and that is not the kind of pretty that we want to be. muslims guard their private parts and their beauty and it's not for everyone to see, only after they get married. sex, is the connection a husband and wife has, in private, to have babies. it is like hugging and it's not something that is talked about or done in front of people. so the f word, is a bad word that means sex but because we don't use filthy language, and we don't talk about sex openly, we never say that word, or use the finger to mean it. she asked if you needed to have tight clothes to have sex. and i said no. i mentioned that women have eggs and men have seeds and when they connect it creates a baby that a woman carries. she didnt' seem to be interested in that (Thankfully) so i didn't go deeper into that. she asked about her friend who had a sister who had a baby but no husband. so then i mentioned to her that people sometimes have sex outside of marriage, but Allah has created the best rules for us and muslims are not allowed, in fact there is a big punishment of a hundred lashes for that. who gives that she asked.. and i said that's not important. but if we don't get it here, we will get punished in the akhira. so guarding our private parts, not sinning with our eyes is really important. then we talked about hijab and sinning with our eyes and what that means. and she mentioned some stuff about boyfriends that her classmates had and crushes, and we talked about how that was not a proper relationship. hafsah kept interrupting to say she wanted me to tell her a story too. lol. it must have sounded like i was telling a beautiful tale. anyway.. there weren't many questions, i told her that as she got older, she would be able to understand a few details a little better and that i always want her to ask me an no one else because she knows i value truth a lot and will always tell her the right answer. i also told her to not ever talk to anyone else about this topic because it is something a mother discusses with her child. alhamdulilah i am so grateful it went well!!! it was much easier than i expected and i think it is a start to another dimension of a beautiful relationship between a sweet sweet daughter and her mama.
